


Salvation

by Later_Water



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Adults, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Priests, Child Abandonment, Childhood Trauma, Christianity, Church of England, Dark, Dark Past, English, Family Drama, Heaven & Hell, Hope, Judgment, M/M, Pain, Psychology, Redemption, Salvation, Short One Shot, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29199723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Later_Water/pseuds/Later_Water
Summary: Dael is on a quest for redemption.Will he be able to save himself?
Relationships: priest / character
Kudos: 2





	Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> Please, take in account that I don't want to offend anyone, this is the first time I wrote about this subject. Let me know if something is incorrect, I'll change it right away.

The dark building’s structure dominated the central square that was situated at the heart of the city. The gaping hole dominated the central square of his rapidly pulsating heart. Why was he still here after all this? What was his destiny? Did he have one? 

A few locks blurred his vision, twirling in the cool wind, which made the whitish skin on his face turns red. Yet, he saw a beautiful black cat who was quietly meowing to attract the attention of a few passers-by. The same cat finally stared into his eyes, as if he could perceive the same thing that Daël saw while looking at his reflection in the mirror, absorbed by his own darkness. 

He was now facing the edifice that seemed, according to people, to hold the answer to all his questions. Or the escape he used to dream of. But he did not dare to enter. 

Not yet. 

It was as if, after all these years of wondering, he was not confident enough to find a solution. As if getting better no longer seemed possible. It was a new possibility that he refused to himself. Because he was not sure he deserved it. And he did not have much to blame himself for. He often repeated this, at night, before closing his eyes and letting himself plunged in an imaginary world that seemed to soothe him even though he could rarely remember what that world was really made up of. 

He sighed. 

An opaque mist was forming at that moment and he wished he had his pack of cigarettes with him. But he reminded himself that it was better not to smoke in front of the Church. Perhaps God would not look kindly on him. He walked in, just as one would walk into a prison. His shoulders slumped and his eyes looked at the ground. He did not dare look at anyone, as if he everyone would be able to read him as in an open book. As if, all the sins he had committed were the most reprehensible. As if, all the people would be able to see in him the vice flowing in his veins. 

He ended up sitting on a bench, raising his eyes to the cross where the Christ seemed to be looking at him in return. 

He shudders. 

Did he have to join his hands together like people do in the movies?

He simply wanted to close his eyes and see nothing more. 

Never again. 

To forget himself like one might forget an old friend’s birthday. 

He had so much to confide to God, so many things he bitterly regretted, so many thoughts he should never have had. So he closed his eyes, made up his mind. It felt as if he was the only one in the room, he could no longer hear any noise. Then, he spoke to God, praying as one would try to save his life. Slowly, a tirade began. An abrupt and implacable stream of thoughts that was crying out for truths that he would have wanted to bury forever. But that was the problem with life. The deeper one buried something, the more it would come out becoming a part of oneself that became uncontrollable. 

And that was how his end began. How he started a war against himself. 

He remembre his childhood. Abandoned by his mother, left in the arms of a father disillusioned by life who did not know what to do with a child he had not even wanted. From the beginning of his life, everything had been joyfully diabolical. He had been left behind, always left aside, one half that had never been complete. He had seen himself grow up to be an evil being. A lack of love that slowly turned into resentment. Powerful and uncontrollable. He had been angry at everything and everyone. He had rejected the many outstretched hands. Daël had decreed himself that it was too late, that the harm done to him had to be avenged. That how this vendetta would be lead did not matter. 

And so… he did. 

Terribly blinded by this pain that had been transformed into resentment. 

His hands were shaking, he bowed his head. He opened his eyes again when his breath became short. His watery eyes then rose and struck a priest who was looking at him calmly. 

How long had he been there? 

Suddenly, the priest took off his stole and went to put it in a room, leaving Daël speechless. He had had a look in front of him that seemed calm and understanding. How could he be? How could he look so benevolent without having done anything? Daël felt so desperate at that moment, almost fragile, that he had not notice a presence by his side. 

The priest was now beside him. 

The priest did not take his eyes off him and it embarrassed Daël. He would have to move away if he did not want the priest to be contaminated by the darkness that he carried within him. 

‘Would you like to confess?’ 

Daël says nothing in return because time seemed suspended. The priest’s soft voice had crept into his ears. He had a sweet voice that sounded… delicious. 

‘Can’t do it.’

Hid deep and hoarse voice contrasted with that of the priest, as if to underline their difference… once again. He thought that he could not come to a Church to try to save himself and take the risk to bring down with him those who had everything for them. 

A life, responsibilities and above all: a family. 

‘You know… God is everywhere, He knows and sees everything. But if you tell Him with honesty and respect what you have done; He will forgive. This is His greatest quality. The one that men envy but will never be able to achieve.’ 

Daël started to think about it, the sense of it, of God, of life and his past choices. He answered after a moment of silence.

‘Don’t you think there are certain limits that should not be exceeded?’ 

The priest took a moment, to answer his question, while scrutinizing him, as if he could see what he himself could not perceived about himself. And the answer seemed to come naturally at him. 

‘His world and ours are so different, don’t you think? Our morality is defined by God, but He also knows and understands everything. Honesty is the most important thing. Everyone deserves to be forgiven. Redemption is sacred. You have to deserve it.’ 

‘I am honest. But I’ve been-’

The priest cut him off, shaking his head, preventing him from adding more. 

‘We’re not at the confessional here. I can only tell you what I know. What I believe. God forgives because sins are in our way. That is it.’ 

‘No matter what we have committed?’

‘This is where all the beauty of His love stands.’ 

The priest smiled sincerely before looking at the cross. His regular breath seemed so calm that Daël wanted to try to match his breathing. Because he wanted to have a moment of rest out from the turbulence of his thoughts. As the storm is followed by the flat, restful calm. This war he had dedicated himself could then come to an end. At least for a moment. 

‘I wish I could erase everything, you know. To become a good person. Like you. To be light-hearted.’

The priest rose. 

‘Did you ever think that all this suffering was not in vain?’ 

Daël frowned, lost. 

‘This suffering is part of me, it’s not God sending me a test or anything. Or is he testing me from the beginning? Then I can assure that nothing worth all this grief.’ 

‘I find you very self-confident. If you really meant it then… why are you here? And more importantly… why are you listening to me?’

‘Because I want to… no I need to get out of it.’ 

‘Listen to me carefully. God saves no one.’ 

Daël could not hide his surprise at this sentence that echoes in him as the last sentence of his own judgment. Why hearing this out loud was not bearable? Because of Daël’s trouble, the priest went on.

‘Please… understand what I am saying. God is helping you to save yourself. But He will never save someone who does not wish to be saved.’ 

The priest leaned slightly towards him, a smile that he could not define distorted the features of his face, which previously seemed soft. A hint was felt in his heart, Daël felt almost anxious about this closeness. The priest’s gaze seemed to have completely changed and now Daël could see as if he was looking straight at his own eyes. 

And God… 

It frightened him. 

The priest spoke, his voice was muffled by the sound of the bells ringing. Yet Daël had hears is as the last Judgment he could never escape. 

‘If you lose this war… then you will have to face the flames of Hell.’

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, 
> 
> thank you for the reading. 
> 
> Still, if there is something wrong with the English please let me know, i'll be glad to learn. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> See you, 
> 
> Later.


End file.
